I have been sick all week with an upper respiratory something or other so opted to rest today. It was a good idea.
Tomorrow my family is getting together to celebrate my Aunt Marion's birthday. 90 years of living in the books. My mind is boggled by that number. 90. And it is bothering me as I am fixated on the sadness of that number when you have no children of your own and have outlived your husband, brother and many other family members and a large majority of your friends. I am feeling such a deep level of melancholia. It is a life well lived up until the past few years where health issues really took my auntie's independence. That part sucks. She is the best person I know. Over the years she has shown me a level of strength, independence, courage, intelligence, fortitude and endurance. She is wise. A good giver of advice. Hard working. And aging is not her friend.
So, tonight I sit with my sadness. I embrace it and befriend it so that tomorrow I can face her with joy in my heart.
Tomorrow my family is getting together to celebrate my Aunt Marion's birthday. 90 years of living in the books. My mind is boggled by that number. 90. And it is bothering me as I am fixated on the sadness of that number when you have no children of your own and have outlived your husband, brother and many other family members and a large majority of your friends. I am feeling such a deep level of melancholia. It is a life well lived up until the past few years where health issues really took my auntie's independence. That part sucks. She is the best person I know. Over the years she has shown me a level of strength, independence, courage, intelligence, fortitude and endurance. She is wise. A good giver of advice. Hard working. And aging is not her friend.
So, tonight I sit with my sadness. I embrace it and befriend it so that tomorrow I can face her with joy in my heart.